I’ve always detested Microsoft’s “optional, non-security, C/D Week” patches because they’re confusing, easy to install accidentally, rarely solve any pressing problems, and potentially introduce yet more bugs.
Guess what? They’re back.
As promised last month, Microsoft has started pushing them out again.
This week’s “Preview” patches led to some bizarre, unexplained, and self-contradictory behavior. Here’s what we’ve been able to piece together, based on what actually happened – not on what Microsoft says is supposed to happen.
Two general sets of “Preview” patches arrived on Tuesday:
They’re Previews, which means the fixes on offer are still in testing. Normal users shouldn’t go anywhere near them.
Windows 10 version 1809 Home and Pro hit "End of Service" on Nov. 10. But users on version 1809 have been reporting for more than a month that they’re getting pushed onto Win10 version 2004.
This is a hard push – there’s no “Download and install” invitation (see screenshot below). You wake up one morning, your version 1809 machine takes forever to get started, and surprise! it wakes up running Win10 version 2004.
The folks at Microsoft have pretty much exterminated the bugs they introduced in July’s patches. The Outlook-killing bug got fixed by an emergency update to Microsoft’s own servers. The Win7 .NET patch was fixed and re-released nine days after paying Win7 Extended Security customers started bellyaching.
If you want to join the ranks of the unpaid beta testers, please go right ahead. Don’t do anything and Patch Tuesday will find you. Make sure you tell us about any problems on AskWoody.com.
Every month we see the same pattern: Microsoft releases its Patch Tuesday regimen; the blogosphere flies into a frenzy about security holes that have to be patched right away; the patches bring bugs; the screams of imminent doom disappear as folks realize it takes a while – sometimes quite a while – for the security holes to turn into real, live exploits.
It looks like we’re good to go with Microsoft's August Windows and Office patches. The second cumulative update for Windows 8.1, KB 4578013, throws some Virtual Private Networks out of kilter, and the Win7 patches may knock out your printers (for those of you paying for Win7 Extended Security Updates). But most of the other bugs appear to be squashed.
Someday, you’ll tell your grandkids about the halcyon days of July and August 2020, when Microsoft took pity on us poor patching souls and introduced few bugs in its stew of Patch Tuesday patches.
Now, it looks like we’re well on our way to another mess.
Although it’s still too early to throw up your hands and peremptorily pass on the September crop, I assure you that there is no joy in Patchville.
Downloading a clean copy of Windows 10 version 2004 is remarkably easy, doesn’t take very long (if you have a fast internet connection), and may well save your keester at some point. Don’t worry, it’s 100% legal and, at worst, will occupy about 8 GB on a convenient drive for a while.
Nothin’ to it.
If you have a PC with a license for Windows 10, the easiest way to get version 2004 involves Microsoft’s Media Creation Tool. Go to the Download Windows 10 site and under "Create Windows 10 installation media," click the link marked Download tool now.
Every month we see the same pattern: Microsoft releases its Patch Tuesday regimen; the blogosphere flies into a frenzy about security holes that have to be patched right now; some patches have bugs; Microsoft fixes many of them in a week or two, warns about others, and stays mum on far too many.
Normal Windows users are left in the lurch. On the one hand, you have the threat of imminent malware mayhem. On the other, you have the threat of poorly tested patches. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
It’s been like that for years. Don’t believe it? Computerworld has month-by-month details for the past three years starting here.
There are a few odd problems with the September Microsoft patches, but they’re relatively sporadic and reasonably-well understood. That makes it's a good time to get the outstanding updates installed, though you should avoid the “optional” patches.
I’m still not ready to put Windows 10 version 2004 on my main machines. The “E Week” optional, non-security patch, KB 4577063, fixes two well-known bugs and many dozens of lesser bugs (none of which were officially documented, by the way) in the latest released version of Windows 10. @mikemeinz has hit several replicated bugs in Win10 version 2004, and bug reports continue to hit my inbox.
Some people believe that you need to get new Windows and Office patches installed the minute they roll out the Windows Update chute. Those who snooze get bit by malware, or so the theory goes.
In fact, we’ve seen very few instances in the past years where a newly patched security hole has turned into a widespread security threat in less than a few weeks. If you’re protecting uranium enrichment centrifuges from deep-pocket adversaries, all bets are off, of course. But for normal, everyday Windows users, the chance of getting bit by a bad patch far outweighs the immediate threat to your trusty ol’ PC.
October 2020 brought a lighter-than-usual crop of patches. For the first time in recent memory, there were none at all for Internet Explorer or the (Chromium-based) Edge browser. The cumulative updates went in with few reports of problems, although there were many complaints about printers not working after the update.
Strange things happened, though, outside the usual monthly patching schedule. The day after Patch Tuesday, Microsoft announced a(nother) fix for a security hole in the HEVC codec — CVE-2020-17022 — distributed, once again, only through the Microsoft Store.
It was yet another patch roller coaster ride this month with the usual crop of one-off bugs, a Malwarebytes-associated assault on networking, a promised Flash killer that doesn’t — and that announced Dynamics 365 Commerce patch, CVE-2020-16943, still isn’t out.
A combination of medical concerns, family obligations … and a screaming desire to turn my attention to interests outside the computer industry have nudged me into retirement.
And it's my great pleasure to announce that "Patch Lady" Susan Bradley will be taking up the cause here at Computerworld with a new blog: Microsoft Patch Lady. She will also be major-domo of AskWoody.com, managing editor of the AskWoody Newsletters, as guiding light of the @AskWoody twitter charge — and, most importantly, as a spiritual advisor to gazillions of disenfranchised Microsoft customers.
At mid-morning Wednesday in the U.S., Outlook stopped working. Dead in its tracks. Both the Click-to-Run version of Office (er, Microsoft) 365 and the installed (MSI) version of Outlook refused to start:
Today when I went to check my email, Outlook would not open; it would load the “Starting Outlook…” splash screen, which would close without opening the Outlook window itself, and the taskbar icon went away. Looking in Reliability History, it states that Outlook has crashed.
